Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
