She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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