hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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