its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
