I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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