did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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