I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
