Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
