..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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