According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.