I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.