she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...