Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
