Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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