I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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