then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
