guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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