Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
