I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
