i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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