that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
