I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
