So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
