Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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