my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
