Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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