I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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