as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
