hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
