apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
