you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
