No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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