Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
