If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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