You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...