At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
They took my balls.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.