carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.