The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
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my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
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That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.