So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
