Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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