guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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