i think i have herpe
just one?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
