Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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