I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
my liver is dry heaving
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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