Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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