She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it hurts more in the daytime
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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