I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize