CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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