Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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