you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
