I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
