ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize