I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
