i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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