somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
