i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
