Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
