whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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