She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
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Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
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I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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