We won't sleep together?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
