u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I need a beard to bite.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
