i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
