Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
