i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
