Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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