Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
