drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
