I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
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