And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
